I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
false alarm. still invincible.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
