At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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