doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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