You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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