i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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