Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
