remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
