Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
this just has baby written all over it
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
