Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
