I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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