I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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