She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
