i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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