Please, let me fuck your mom
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
