4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
