Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
