So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
whose parrot is this?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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