I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
