What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Enjoy the penises
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
