he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
