Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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