hotel room ftw
accomplished twins. life is a go
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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