North Korea, Best Korea!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
