It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Someone signed my nipple.
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