I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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