Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
