i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Come on in and take your pants off
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