so explain again why im purple
no
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
