maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
