It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
