just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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