Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
