He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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