Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
There r osticjed everywhere
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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