Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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