You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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