just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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