He is an equal opportunity slut.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We left the knife in your bed.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
