Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
