she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
