i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
