The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
