He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Its about making memories worth repressing
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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