Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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