in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
