So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
