The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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