you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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