I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
