New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
