I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
